A Book About Pancakes
by Torp
Summary: [One Shot] Bookman told Lavi to read a book, any book. But he didn’t expect Lavi to find a book like that one.


Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-SPAZ-- I mean, D. Gray-Man.

Note: For those who are confused, this is the correct spelling of Lavi's name. It's not Labi, Rabi, or Ravi. It's Lavi.

**A Book About Pancakes**

Or,

_In which Lavi dubs himself the savior of all pancakes, and Bookman wonders why he even bothers._

Summery: Bookman told Lavi to read a book, any book. But he didn't expect Lavi to find a book like _that _one.

* * *

Lavi licked his finger, and reached to the edge of the page as he finished reading the last of the script. He turned it, careful not to tear the crisp, white sheet of paper, and continued to read. Lavi loved books, especially books like this one. The words were so fascinating; the sucked him right into a world entirely separate from his armchair in the Exorcist Headquarters' library. It was times like this when he actually looked forward to being the next Bookman. A Bookman needs books, and, after all, Lavi loved books. 

As he was turning the next page, Lavi heard the distinct creak of the library door. He looked up to glance at who had entered, thinking one of the scientists had come to search the Library for a particular volume or two for research. Instead, he saw the wizened face of his mentor, the current Bookman. Grinning, Lavi quickly made a mental note of his page and closed his book. Of course, Lavi would never forget the page number. Lavi never forgot anything in general.

"Panda!" Lavi cried, cheerfully. Bookman furrowed his brow.

"Don't call me 'Panda.' I am not a panda."

The red-head scoffed. "Fine. Gramps, then. You can say you don't look like a panda, but you can't deny that you're old."

"I can't deny it, but I can wish that I wasn't." Bookman sighed a bit and sat in one of the library's leather armchairs. "If I wasn't old, then I wouldn't have to train someone to take my place. I assume you didn't forget the assignment I gave you yesterday?"

"Nope. I never forget." Lavi said, tapping his headband, "Read exactly one book for every day I'm not on Exorcist duty."

"Yes, that was it." Bookman said, nodding. He closed his eyes, and Lavi couldn't help but think that the rings around Bookman's eyes made him look like a panda. Suddenly, his eyes shot open, causing Lavi to jump about three feet into the air. "Show me what you've read."

"AAAHH!" The excitable boy yelled, eye wide with shock. "Don't do that, Panda!"

"I'M NOT A PANDA." The elderly man didn't yell so much as commanded Lavi. "Show me what you've read!"

"Okay, Grandpa" Lavi held up the book he'd been reading earlier. "See? I'm on track! Be proud of me!"

Bookman read the title of the book Lavi was holding. Then, he took a moment to reread the title a few times, just to be sure that he was reading it correctly. Unfortunately for Bookman, the title remained the same. A Book About Pancakes.

"Lavi…" Bookman said slowly, "What, in God's name, is this particular book about?"

"_Gosh_, Grandpa, can't you read?" Lavi said, once again wide-eyed. "It's a book about pancakes!"

It was times like this when Bookman wondered why Lavi was his apprentice. Really, why had he chosen Lavi out of everyone else? Sometimes he just wanted to push the boy off a cliff, or something to a similar extent, just to end his stupidity. Nevertheless, it was too late to pick up another apprentice if he _did_ manage to get rid of Lavi, and Lavi wasn't stupid _all_ the time. Just sometimes. And even Bookman had to admit that Lavi had an extraordinary talent for remembering things.

"Okay, Lavi." Bookman sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Tell me this: Where in the library did you find this book about pancakes?"

"In the cooking section!" The Bookman-in-training promptly pointed out said section, in the very bottom corner on one of the library's extensive bookcases. It was easily the smallest section, even smaller than the children's section.

"But that area is Jeryy's section. He may get mad if he sees you reading his book."

Lavi pouted. "I'm sure he won't notice if _one_ of his books is missing. And I'm almost finished with it!"

"Lavi." Bookman hooked eyes with Lavi, making sure to look very stern so that his apprentice would listen (but in reality, he was only making Lavi wonder how Bookman could look _so much _like a panda.). "Lavi, I gave you this assignment so that you would gain knowledge about things that are important. Things like world history, works of influential authors, and philosophy. I did NOT give you this assignment so that you could read a book about pancakes!"

"But Panda, all those things are boring! You already tell me the unwritten history, I've never even heard of some of those authors, and philosophy is all theories anyway! And Pancake knowledge _is_ important! What if tomorrow the Earl of Millennium ordered his Akuma to _burn_ all evidence of pancakes on Earth? If that happened, it would be pretty great that I read A Book About Pancakes today. I would restore pancakes to the land, making me the savior of all pancakes!" Lavi's eye twinkled as he fantasized. Bookman just stared at him in silence.

"I _highly_ doubt that would ever happen, Lavi." He said, finally. He raised himself from his seat, and walked across the library to the door. "Very well then. Today, you may read A Book About Pancakes, but tomorrow you will be reading Ovid's _Metamorphoses._ No exceptions."

"Okay! Thanks, Panda!" Lavi grinned widely, and cracked the book to the page he'd been reading before Bookman's interjection. The old man smiled. He really wondered why he even bothered.

* * *

As far as I know, there is no book called A Book about Pancakes. If there is, then I'm sorry. Based on a Picto-Chat conversation on a friend's birthday. Also, The Earl of Millennium probably loves pancakes, and therefore would never burn all evidence of pancakes on Earth. So, sorry Lavi. You're fantasy will never come true? 


End file.
